Day 23 - 25 "A series of unfortunate events?"

We could have got an overnight bus to Laos from Chiang Mai but were told the three day boat trip was a much nicer way to do it.

The only other option is a speed boat, where only the driver wears a crash helmet.

So it was a no brainer really, lovely slow boat it was!

To begin with, we had a minibus journey to the border of Thailand.

When we realised the bus journey was 6 hours instead of 3, we suggested the yes and no game, followed by multiple rounds of the alphabet game (in this case animals, you go around thinking of a different animal beginning with each letter.  Which is a lot harder than it sounds)

By the end of the minibus journey 8 of us had bonded.

The great thing about our hotel we arrived at, is that it will make anywhere else feel like a palace.

Our patio door didn't lock.. and the pictures below hopefully give an insight into what the room was like.

That, along with motorbikes coming in and out every hour until 5am, a mysterious drip and the sound of our room gecko, meant we didn't sleep a wink.

The next morning we were told breakfast was at 6am and we were leaving for border control at 6.30am

At around 9am, the guy woke up (he'd had a heavy night drinking aparantly) and swapped our money to US dollars for our visas - anyone waiting for passport pictures couldn't get them because he'd ran out of ink, of course.

We had a luxurious coffee, then we were on our way.

The slowest part of our slow boat journey was then probably getting through border control. With one desk open, we were fighting with the staff against sandwiches and cigs and it seemed the latter won every time, so we patiently waited and waited.

Finally we were on the scenic slow boat. We slept through a lot of it, apart from the occasional dispute about chair pushing with people sitting near us (we were still in our group of 8 and quick to jump to our teams defence of course)            

At the border, we booked accomodation through our bus guy.

When we got to pak beng to stay the night, it was obvious we'd been well and truly screwed over.

We saw other hostels being flogged for half the price.

Still though, we knew ours was nice and we'd been promised hot showers, complimentary water, tea and coffee

Ha.

They'd never given anyone free tea and coffee before and laughed that he'd said that.

Still, at least we could get nice hot showers after our long sticky day.

Oh wait.

just as I'd lathered all my shower gel up, the (cold) water stopped running.

I used the tap for a moment or two, until that also stopped running.

As I was clearly in desperate times, I went for the toilet spray thing, but that only gave out for a few seconds too.

So in the end, I admitted to defeat and just rubbed the suds in.

By this point, we were all just happy that we all had each other and I was pretty content with the fact that our trip would at least be a funny and memorable one.

We went to a lovely indian place, that had been recommended to Crystal and Dave.

Then onto a bar..

Their menu speciality was a 'happy shake' and the bar man came over to our table about 4 times asking if we wanted some weed.

We chatted to a man who'd been on the boat, who'd clearly had too many happy shakes and chose Jack as his ear to listen ....about his want for euthanasia?!

We had a shot of whiskey each, which turned out to be moonshine.

Aparantly our beers were more expensive than the menu claimed because we didn't eat there.. and on the way back we got circled by a dodgy man eyeing up our bags.

For a small and pretty dismal place, they obviously know what their doing. A few happy shakes or spliffs later and your money is theirs.

The next morning we had another 8 hour stretch on the slow boat.

Then they stopped the boat 4km from the stop and pretended that was the stop, so we'd get a tuck tuck to Luang Prabang.

They're basically all part of a bigger scam.

Luckily, we had GPS and a lot of guide books that say there's a port in the centre.

Solidarity soon formed and the whole boat (minus a few) stayed put and refused to get off for half an hour - we sang songs and someone honked the horn on the boat.

Ideally, they'd have taken us to Luang Prabang  but that weren't happening, they obviously had their dodgy money making deal with the tuk tuk drivers and weren't about to give in.

So.. we also refused to give in to being scammed and instead of giving them any money we walked 4km to the town instead. Which in heat, with rucksacks on, is a long way!

When we arrived we of course walked around for about an hour before finding the hostel but the shower and cold can of coke when we got there felt like the best thing ever.

I think next time we'd go for the helmet-less speed boat or the overnight bus.

..but at least we've made good memories and friends from it (who are all now very sick of, or addicted to, the "yes and no" and "alphabet" game)!